I have been in mourning over the death of one of my best friends. I haven’t been able to talk about it because only a handful of people even knew she existed and even they don’t understand my loss. Her name was Lucy. She was companion, my confident, my sympathizer, my partner in crime. Oh, we’ve done heinous things–robbed, killed, plundered. We earned wealth beyond imagination, we lost it all. We created the best circle of inner friendships, some of those friends I have been bold enough to share with others, but not Lucy. No, no one will ever understand how much I loved my Lucy. With her passing, I lost years and years of memory. You see Lucy was my laptop. She was only going in for minor surgery. Her eyelids didn’t close properly. A slight tuck and she should have been home with me in a couple of minutes. Instead, my biggest nightmare happened. She went into cardiac arrest, and the doctor could not revive her. Her body still lives, but her heart is gone. The transplant, while functional is just not the same. It will take years for me to trust again. In the meantime, I’m going to make friends with The Cloud. I hear friends are safe from death there.
As I was going through my Facebook posts this morning, my good friend, Kari, posted about her self-doubt in writing. Am I just wasting my time? Are there other things I should be doing? Her post elicited all kinds of responses that struck a familiar cord with so many writers, me included. I’ll walk past my computer, and look at the black screen and think, “I really should sit down and write.” Instead I end up on my tablet playing some mindless game. It distracts me from writing.
Distractions are nothing more than fear manifesting itself. Fear that we can’t think of ideas, fear that we won’t have anything to write about, fear that our writing will be terrible. Even as I write this blog, I fear. Will anyone read it, will my words ring true? Is it well written? Will people judge me because of my lack of poetic/literary eloquence?
I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately about the topic of fear. The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz addresses this issue. He says, “To fight fear, act. To increase fear-wait, put off, postpone.” He also says, “Do what you fear and fear disappears”. The longer we put something off because we fear doing it, the greater the fear becomes. Fear holds us back. Fear immobilizes us. When we fear we are limiting ourselves. I attended a leadership convention last week. This remark lingers with me still. “Danger is real, fear is a choice.”
So how do we overcome fear? It’s really easier than you might think. It’s just doing the thing you fear. It’s putting your hiney in the seat and putting your fingers on they keyboard and write. (Or with pen and paper if that is your preference). Don’t think about how good or bad your writing is. The most important thing is to just do it.